Greets Friends. I am writing you from the Bay Area in California. It’s about 6am Pacific time, and I have been up for some hours, already working – uploading a new vid to youtube, looking at emails, etc. Busy work, you know…
It’s just bizarre when one sees how beautifully transparent life is. As I look “back” (whatever that means) on accomplishments, relationships and life, and – as I look forward to ideas about what I’d like in the future, or what it may bring, there is this itty bitty speck called NOW.
In this NOW it’s like this transparent nothingness – like just a small crack allowing light in. It’s this small valley in between the massive past and future. But – on looking again and again, maybe these huge mountains of past and future are nothing but illusions, and all that has ever and will ever be is this weirdly eternal speck of time called NOW.
Lester Levenson calls life “the dream that never was”. I’ve not experienced a trauma lately, but I’m reflecting on relationships with people that have “returned to the invisible and silent realm”, looking back on relationships with mentors, animals who I loved and nurtured until their passing, music I have written….wondering where did it go? Or – maybe it didn’t go anywhere. It’s almost as if it never was….only my observation made it feel real.
Quantum physics shows that even the smallest particles are only “probabilities in motion” (or something like that) until and observer comes and looks, crystalizing a vision. Isn’t life the same? Constantly in motion, wiggly, never defined – until we imprint an image in our minds and observe it? Like a snapshot. Then for a brief moment – when we observe, it appears as if it all stands still and forms into some kind of NOW point.
Sometimes this transparency frightens me when I “think” that there’s nothing to hang onto. No job, parents, lovers, home will stay permanent…it’s all much more fluid than any of us sometimes want to admit. From where do these friends, lovers and circumstances come, and where do they go?
In meditation the NOW moment merges with the flow of time it’s like flying with no net…we realize this is the only moment there was, there is…and it’s all okay when we allow this transparency.
Thus…it’s not about the destination – it’s about the journey.