Adam Rafferty’s Blog – Guitar and Spirit

Connecting With Another Person

Sometimes you connect in a relationship, and at other times you don’t. If you understand the law of “you get what you think about” and that thoughts “snowball” it can help you understand what is going on between you & another person.

Last night my girlfriend and I decided to go out for a drink at a local bar. Poor Jill, I know I have had a one track mind about my solo CD and career. All I have been doing is stuff like re-recording tracks, mastering, paying for licenses, poking around on myspace, and so on.

Jill is working as the assistant dean at a prestigious college here in NYC. She is getting very busy as the school year is revving up.

So, I decide to myself before going out to meet her that I do not want to talk about my stuff. I’d rather be a good listener tonight.

We meet, and I ask her how work went.

I hear all about the personalities, the responsibilities which are unfolding, the madness of it all. And while streams of story-lines shift I am doing my best to follow, but it is hard. First off I don’t know the people, and I am trying to NOT think about my stuff for once. Of course that’s like saying don’t think about a pink elephant.

At one point Jill (who has been doing all the talking) says “I feel like you are not listening”. Uh oh, here we go. Men are from Mars….get ready!!!!

I reply “I’ve been listening the whole time”. I see the argument coming I have had 1000 times with other people and past girlfriends, and I have been on both sides of it. I have felt “not understood” or like “so and so does not care, but only cares about her own stuff”.

We all like to feel connected, we like that honeymoon stage we were once in when all we could think about was how awesome the other person is.

I thought to myself, “What is really going on here? How can I grasp this problem of what is happening – she’s talking about work & her stuff, I am thinking about my stuff, but really trying to think about her stuff, and we are in 2 different universes right now. She feels it and so do I.”

The answer lies in the Law of Attraction, believe it or not.

I had spent days on music here at my house. Recording, mixing, editing, licensing, talking, practicing, teaching. And – the more you think about something, the more you get it – so music and guitar are like this 10 ton locomotive that can’t just come to a screeching halt, due to the momentum of thoughts.

Likewise, she’s been updating the school website, organizing, learning what new tasks lay ahead when dazed & confused freshmen walk in – immersed in that situation for hours. These thoughts have gained such momentum that she can’t stop thinking and talking about it. To her, my talking about music feels like a splash of cold water that has nothing to do with her thoughts at the time. That’s why I simply wanted to be a good listener.

Out of desperation (this was so cute) Jill says to me at the bar “okay, I won’t talk about work and you don’t talk about music. (pregnant pause). What the hell is there to talk about? We have nothing to talk about (panic)”. This was so cute and so funny. I love her!!

So I told her “Honey, see what is happening here and don’t worry. Your thoughts have snowballed due to the attention you have given to certain subjects, and mine have too. We have momentum of thoughts that are rolling in different right now. That’s normal and okay. No crisis here!”

I continued, in my wise, long winded, know-it-all fashion, “I guarantee that as we hang out tomorrow and build up a new immediate past (interesting way of describing the present), and pay attention to being together at the beach, we’ll feel in-snyc soon enough.”

“No need to block out thoughts and force other thoughts. Be gentle about it.”

Get it?

I know now (but sort of always did on a gut level) that it takes a little time to get momentum of thoughts, but once you do – secrets reveal themselves and realizations pop up out of the unknown. Practicing music for hours gives you momentum. Building a habit of exercise gives a momentum. Computer programming gives a momentum – in fact when I learned to program PERL, I’d spend hours and then be dreaming about it!

Relationships are no different. Being in a relationship also has a certain momentum, and that’s why you have to put in time with a relationship just like anything else.

Until tomorrow, my little blog-puppies!!

P.S. I forgot who made the following quote but I love it and laugh at myself as I have bombarded my inner circle of friends and family with my new musical projects – “But enough about me. Tell me what YOU think about me.” 🙂

Rhythm

By Adam Rafferty 2 Comments

Greetings musician friends!

Well, I just spent all day yesterday re-recording the Dr. Lonnie Smith tune “Play it Back” on solo acoustic guitar. I have had the honor of playing this with him live at a few gigs and jazz festivals, and it’s one of those tunes that jam bands are jumping all over.

It’s a blues that never goes to IV chord, and has a characteristic little riff and break at the V chord.

Anyhow, that being said – I feel honored to have played with Dr. Lonnie, as he is one of the remaining jazz, blues & funk greats from the past. But man, let me tell you the stuff he does on gigs now is the future – he gets WAY out there!

I love the way he just rocks this whole groove on the stage and that’s part of what I am going for in my solo guitar act. Not to be a good guitar player, but to be a house rocker, a musical force like a Lonnie. That’s the thing with the greats – they are a musical force, not just a good instrumentalist.

So why did I re-record? Well, see my entry about spiritually vs technically correct. I have done recordings where I did not feel the groove was on the money, and had engineers, sidemen, friends, family – everyone say “It sounds good”. And then I go to listen and it just ain’t movin’ me, or makin’ my feet tap.

That’s why I re-recorded. The difference is so subtle – if you A/B the takes, they sound the same….but wait – I find myself grinning with the new take.

And, the thing with music where the groove is off is this:

1) you hear a piece of music, sense a possible groove and start moving your body
or maybe just tapping your foot

2) something in the music goes against the grain of body rhythm, you have to stop moving, and get a new frame of reference, and try to hook your body moving up to it again. Doing this continually as the music unfolds is the worst exhaustion I know. Eventually, one is forced to disconnect from the music in a “body rhythm” fashion and is forced to listen “from the neck up”.

OUCH. God forgive me, I have in my past created music that does this. Being stressed with studio time & costs, not hiring the right people, and just lack of experience and feeling off-center can knock the groove out.

Finally I feel like I am getting it!

When the groove is on:

1) you hear a piece of music, sense a possible groove and start moving your body
or maybe just tapping your foot

2) the music is obeying the same law that your “body rhythm” obeys. You, the listener can move your body and every little pop and squeak from the music your listening to goes right with how you are moving.

When this happens, a momentum known as “depth of groove” builds, and the joy and enjoyment build and build because you are in a flow, and you never have to “correct” where you are at in the trajectory of your dancing or foot tapping motions.

So, just like Stevie Wonder says in “Sir Duke”:

“But just because a record has a groove
Dont make it in the groove
But you can tell right away at letter ‘A’
When the people start to move”

The final judge is not me in this case. Of course it is good if I feel good about the music I am making, as no amount of whitewashing, accolades or praise will ever make me feel good if I feel that my music sucks.

You, the listener have to enjoy the music for me to be happy. And I’ll know by the twinkle in your eye, or the vibe “between the lines” of your email, or tone of your voice if it really turned you on.

So it is not about the money, the ego trip, the career; it is about the music being right. Whatever good follows that is gravy!

Gratitude

By Adam Rafferty 2 Comments

Wow, I feel so caught in the pop culture as I write this, with “The Secret” and all the Law of Attraction stuff out there.

(Also – you musicians might ask why all this new age fribble is under a music or guitar heading here in the blog. Well guys and gals – music is a microcosm of life.)

I love the book “Ask and it is Given”. In it, there is a description of 22 processes that anyone can do to lift their “vibration” and get more of what they want by feeling good spiritually and emotionally.

The first on is entitled “The Rampage of Appreciation” and focuses on gratitude. Whoa! This is big.

I have spent so much time, I admit, wanting more, and in the process not been grateful for what I have. I’m not saying “Guilty me, I won’t go to heaven, children are starving, I am so bad…”. That is just a BS approach to face value gratitude which is only a beating up of oneself.

What I am saying is that when quietly one stops to look, and love – your pet, your people in your life, your opportunities, the capacity of your mind – you find yourself in a heavenly state of mind after having done so. And it is a very natural thing to do, if you just allow yourself.

And from that heavenly state of mind / spirit / whatever you want to call it – comes all good, all abundance. You don’t “do it to make money”, you do it for it’s own sake – but you’ll see that you have aligned with abundance.

It may sound trippy – but try it. When I walk out onto 74th street here in Jackson Heights, I look and appreciate the green trees, the ethnic diversity, the calm of an outer borough, and how it all helps me make music and live peacefully. I look at my kitty and see the hours of love this little creature has given me. I look at my past and thank everyone who was smarter and more experienced than me for nurturing and helping me. And on and on…

That’s why I called the new CD “Gratitude”. I suppose I always use a CD title or liner notes to reach people spiritually. I laid a copy on my mom and she had asked me why I named the title “Gratitude” and while my usual m.o. is to bicker with her, I told her why. And I underlined to her that part of that gratitude was that she raised me the best she could, and made sure I had guitars and guitar lessons and never told me I couldn’t or shouldn’t be a guitarist. Her belief in me was a given. Wow! Yeah Mom!! As I told her, I was almost in tears, and I felt that she was touched, and appreciated my appreciation!

We can and should practice gratitude deliberately – that is, not once in a while by accident. Why? Because life is be richer and happier when we do so. And the goodness snowballs!

One thing I do when I am with my girlfriend is be consciously grateful that she’s in my life. If I see a habitual, old thought of “Man I wish she wouldn’t..” or “I hate how she’s…” I know that I am headed for disaster, internally. Most people don’t realize that these states of mind are their own doing! I think that’s what happens when couples leave the honeymoon stage. Appreciation diminishes and thoughts of what’s “not good” take charge.

First thing I do when that comes on is tell her, out loud, “Honey, I love you just the way you are – please don’t change a thing”. And while I may smirk and she knows something pushed a button in me, she smiles back and things diffuse.

I have at that point gone 180 degrees away from trying to change her. I accept her as being different – and appreciate the good things about her such as her perky attitude, her beauty, her honesty, her love of animals, her integrity, herr punctuality, and her eagerness to get along with my family. The appreciation helps me get properly aligned.

When I meditate and actually slow down enough to see emotions and images pass through my “universal” awareness, I see that as humans we are all really the same. Despite our seemingly outward differences – there is a common denominator. It is all about how we deal with what is in front of us, and how we perceive real from unreal. We may each have been given a different “lump of clay” as our life circumstances (talents, location, ethnicity, etc), but the craft with which we mold and sculpt what we’ve got is what it is all about. We can either allow goodness, appreciate, and feel our sprits in us, or not.

Allowing “love” to flow, or allowing the feeling of love to be felt – is the key to this. Why not try some gratitude and start the flow? Try it, you’ll like it!

Say Goodbye to The Shiny Silver Disc

By Adam Rafferty 3 Comments

I recently did a new recording project here at my home studio and thought about “pressing” my CD. That’s what I’ve done since 1993 – recorded and pressed CD’s.

I can’t believe I sound like such an old fart here – but I finally got an iPod about 6 months ago. I have not bought a CD in what feels like at least a year. My Dad subscribes to Rhapsody and has not bought CD’s.

Just “google” the term “the future of cd’s” and you will see bleak articles. The day of the shiny silver disc is over I think.

Hmm…doesn’t seem like such a good idea to spend a lot of money pressing CD’s of my new music. A quote from Discmakers came in at around $2300 for 1000 CD’s with the tax, shipping and an extra $400 for them to do the design.

Now, as a working musician what can I sell on gigs? I have always sold CD’s as a main part of my tour income, not to mention online sales.

I also have an instructional DVD and 3 guitar books I have written, all of which are reproducible by any 13 year old on a computer.

What is it that I can offer that is unique: my performance! You still can’t copy that experience digitally, so step one is that our performances – i.e. the experience of having us there performing is special. But,merchandise has really helped supplement income at gigs.

Ok, I can also sell frisbees, t-shirts and mugs but that’s a lot to carry. I probably will get tees made, but whoa! I’ll have a lot of carrying in the airports!

I did see something extremely interesting the other day – a service that allows musicians to sell music downloads at gigs. WHAT? Yes – check it out.

https://discrevolt.com

You sell the fan an attractive physical card with a unique download code on it, and they can go home from your gig and download the music. I suspect we’ll see lots of variants on this soon.

Any thoughts? Let me know….

Wanted and Unwanted

By Adam Rafferty Leave a Comment

Over the last few days I was reminded of a very important principle having to do with the Law of Attraction. Yes, you can read about it everywhere – but you may find this interesting.

Very often when we want something, we think of not wanting it’s opposite. Ponder that just a sec. So, as Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks say – every subject is 2 subjects. The object of desire and the lack of it, or “wanted and unwanted”

The problem we encounter when we ponder the lack of something desired – is that the mind creates more of what we hold in it. I.E. “Think of a pink elephant” or “Don’t think of a pink elephant” give the mind the same instruction – “pink elephant”.

The example given on the CD’s of “Ask and it is Given” is that you launch a new rocket of desire for a new car. You feel elated. You go to the dealer, smell the interior, see a shiny new paint job, etc – and it’s exhilarating.

So, you then go home and ponder. You look at the old car and make a checklist of why the new car would be great – but you are looking at the old car’s dents, scrapes, wear and tear and your vibration and vision fall into seeing and thinking about what you don’t like about the old car.

So what do you get? More of the old car, because that’s what you are envisioning!

This is so deep, so important and so relevant. We can feel stuck. I get like this sometimes.

What does one do? Well, now that you are armed with the new knowledge – of what you hold in your mind is what you get, it’s simple. Change what you hold in your mind. Choose a thought deliberately rather than by default.

So “yes” to new car = new car will manifest in your life.
“no” to old car = old car will manifest in your life.

I’d like to share some examples from my life with you.

About a year ago I decided to embark on a new career path of solo acoustic guitar. My first reaction to it was pure inspiration and upon hearing Tommy Emmanuel, I felt inspired musically, professionally and saw the possibility for a great future ahead. I felt (and feel) elated.

I am inclined to talk a lot with my friends and family. Before long I found that I was saying things like:

“I want to do solo guitar because…”

I don’t want to play restaurant jazz background music
I don’t like the sound of electric guitar as much as acoustic (pretty much)
I don’t like scraping by (or feeling that I am)
I don’t like the idea of teaching forever
I don’t like that the general public doesn’t understand jazz I play
I am not meeting my potential because of the limiting factors involved

OOPS!!!! By thinking all of the above, I manifested:

Play restaurant jazz
Play electric guitar
Scraping by
Teaching Forever
Public doesn’t understand the jazz I play
Not meeting my potential

Let’s improve this by stating what we do want (what I want)

I allow myself to play concerts as a headlining act
I love the sound of an acoustic guitar
I love getting compensated generously for the music I create
I allow my schedule to get filled with touring and playing
I look forward to relating to more listeners
Solo acoustic guitar is a unique expression of my talents

I can feel even with the mere typing of this the difference in energy from these 2 approaches. You’ll note as well – your emotions are your guide. They tell you if your thoughts are holding you in vibrational alignment with your desires (good feelings) or not (bad feelings).

What happens seconds, minutes – even hours after just a few of the empowering, abundant thoughts is a good mood,and the energy to do what is needed.

The negative approach yields the opposite – a dis-empowered, lacking sad feeling.

So – is life “out there in the world” or “here in your head” or “both”? I say both – but the imagination preceded the manifestation. That’s why it is critical to envision something you want in spite of what’s in front of you.

==-=-=-=-==-=-=-

Another quick example: Look at all the lack of success people have with online dating!

Having been on match.com myself – I spent most of the time feeling that I lacked a mate, so what I got was more lacking a mate.

Quite different from the feeling that “she’s on the way pretty soon”. And shortly after leaving match, I met Jill on the LIRR. We’ve been together happily for a year and a half.

Our life is lived in our mind. Pretty amazing!

Hope you enjoyed this – and I encourage you to play around with this gently. Choose the thoughts of what you want!